ENGRISH 101

Goddess of the Dawn

2007-09-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

We live in this world, we see the Earth is dying, no more blue blue sky, stars are gone, everyone is a smoker, and gasmask becomes a fashion accessories. Well.. inspired by AhBoon, I'm set to go on search for the most heavenly sight and serenity that can still be seen from this world. For me, in Malaysia the only place I found peace is in the sawah padi. You know that feeling when you can just stand motionless and enjoy the luxury of being out of the city?

Have you ever seen the auroras? What are they? Roman Goddess of Dawn?!

Auroras are natural colored light displays, which are usually observed in the night sky, particularly in the polar zone. Auroras are now known to be caused by the collision of charged particles, the positive and negative ions!! found in the magnetosphere (Home of Mr.Magneto), with atoms in the Earth's upper atmosphere (at altitudes above 80 km). These particles travel into space with speeds of 300 to 1200 kilometers per second.

-Boston operator (to Portland operator): "Please cut off your battery [power source] entirely for fifteen minutes."

-Portland operator: "Will do so. It is now disconnected."

-Boston: "Mine is disconnected, and we are working with the auroral current. How do you receive my writing?"

-Portland: "Better than with our batteries on. - Current comes and goes gradually."

-Boston: "My current is very strong at times, and we can work better without the batteries, as the aurora seems to neutralize and augment our batteries alternately, making current too strong at times for our relay magnets. Suppose we work without batteries while we are affected by this trouble."

-Portland: "Very well. Shall I go ahead with business?"

-Boston: "Yes. Go ahead."

The conversation was carried on for around two hours using no battery power at all and working solely with the current induced by the aurora, and it was said that this was the first time on record that more than a word or two was transmitted in such manner. Nows you knows!

There's also folklores on auroras! According to Inuit folklore, its the spirits of the dead playing football with human skulls over the sky. The Inuit also used the aurora to get their children home after dark by claiming that if you whistled in their presence they would come down and split their heads from their body to play football with it. Wow... I thought football was originally from England.

While we love to enjoy the sight of it, some guys just can't take it! In Russian folklore, aurora borealis was associated with dragon ("Ognenniy Zmey"), who came to women and seduced them in the absence of their husbands. Also, many prospectors during the Klondike Gold Rush believed that the Northern Lights were the reflection of the mother lode of all gold. They are colour blind by the way~

Well, let's go for the expedition in search of the Goddess of the Dawn.

Be careful what you wish for...

2007-08-10T17:09:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a man. An obese man. A freakingly huge, obese man. Okay, that's an understatement...

Now, story has it that he has a fairy godmother. As with all fairy godmothers, she was willing to grant him his deepest desires.

So, when he said "Fairy God-mama, I don't like being so, like, uhhh, y'know... un-thin. I can't get girls to be interested in me! Could you remove some fat?", she could only have replied "Your wish is my command." (By the way, why can't he just wish for something like "I would like to have Ayumi Hamasaki lying beside me now"?)

Now, the fairy godmother waved her magic wand, chanted some magic words, and ended with "Fat, begone!" ... by the time she has repeated the incantation for 5 times, our friend looked like this:

A few more repetitions, and our friend is starting to look more interesting(?).

Finally he realised something is not right, and as soon as the fairy godmother mumbled the incantation one more time, he shouted "Enough, god-mama, enough!"

"Look at me!" he said, "What have I become?"

The fairy godmother just shook her head and say "Kids nowadays... you can never please 'em. Don't do what they ask you to, and they say you don't love them. Follow all the whims, and they still scold you, for a job well-done. Hmmpphhh!"

"But... but... How can you expect me to go out like this? What am I gonna say? Built-in napkin? Apron-o-matic? Instant boxers? OMG! Remove the flab NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW"

The fairy godmother sighed, and waved her wand again, summoning a bunch of butchers.

Of course, she did the stitching work herself:

And voila! Instant Arnold Schwarzenegger!

So, folks, next time, remember to be more specific in what you ask for. And, if you want to have a fairy godmother too, e-mail your resume to Engrish Teacher and we'll send you an application form.

Oh, and by the way, he ended up asking for a pretty girl *after* that, and well, as tales go, lived happily ever after.

A friend in need is a friend indeed

2007-07-31T22:02:00.000+08:00

Today I'm going to talk about friendship. It is not your friend's ship nor French vessel. Do you have friends? buddy? kawan-kawan? brader? etc etc.. When you are small, you already have some friends around you and when you are big, you have more guy friends. Err...what am I talking about? Forget it..As we grow up, we make friends along the way. Some are true, some are fucked up and some are the "hi-bye" ones.
When we are young (kiddos), friends are those that share your toys, watch Playhouse Disney Channel with you and steal your color pencils. When we are primary school students, we play catching, batu seremban and bottle caps with friends. When we are secondary school students, we learn ~~sex~~ more about the opposite sex by sharing valuables and we think that having a gang of friends walking together is a sex symbol. After that, some friends will depart and we will make new friends in college. Friends can be everywhere, but true friends are just like gems and some other friends can be like stones by the roadside (they can just fly from nowhere and hit your car windscreen)
In life, we need true friends. They are the ones that'll support you when you are down. Sometimes, they are too busy for you because they have priority for their gf/bf/fubu/etc. Do not get pissed off. Just show them two fingers representing *two words and they will understand. *peng you/kah wan/free end/bar dee/heng tai/bra the.

This what I call the True Blue Brader mahhh...

One word...ENJOY

2007-07-28T21:40:00.000+08:00

How's your weekend? Do you enjoy yourself?

You should be! there must be a time when you just have to let yourself free and have fun! For me, college life is the best there is. You don't have to wait until the end of the week just to have some fun. You don't have to work all day long and worry about making mistakes. I wonder how true it is, but I do seem to appreciate and anticipate weekends more after i started my working life. Friday night seems so heavenly and things go in a direction you want it to be.
I've had a great weekend, and I hope you guys have had a great one too! For those working class, please keep all your work aside and enjoy yourself to the fullest. Don't come and tell me, alot of datelines, stress and how big your responsibility is or how many casinos you've to manage.
Working hard to climb up the corporate ladder is not wrong, but there's also a need for time management. Here's a story that I would like to share with you all...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two mugs of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions-- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple cups of coffee."

International Language

2007-07-27T13:46:00.000+08:00

International language. No its not any French, English or even the almighty Engrish. Not even my beloved Japanese. Huu huu. An international language is of course a language that is internationally known or recognized. It need not be a spoken language. It can be on the form of signs.

Sign language? Hmm, sort of but not that complicated. This involves only one finger. And that my friends, is the middle finger.
It doesn't matter how old you start to flash 'the' fingers around. Its not that bad compared to flashing your 'love rod' around. So parents, its not exactly a bad thing. There are of course debates on the meaning of the middle finger. What does it means? Or what does it expresses?

Most people feel that its offensive or it simply means 'Fuck you!'. But what I feel is that it can be expressed and received in many different forms of message. Some find it offensive, some find it cute and some find it funny. There's no age limit to flashing your middle finger. When you feel like it, flash it.
When its all gloomy and dark, and you know that you want your time alone. Some joker bang into your room and do something stupid that is supposed to be funny. This finger means, 'Hey, could you please jack off and leave me alone'.
When you're at a older age, of course the middle finger is nothing rude. This is a form of advice from the elderly to the kids out there. Mine without stimulation is already this long. So shut up and listen. So its alright, don't be offended. Take your time to learn this beautiful sign.
Now, this one is a classic in New York. He needs the money for beer, drugs and hooker. Aww, how could we resist such honesty. Of course you have to pay him. If you don't wanna pay but wanna look at his board. Thats when the middle finger plays a part. It simply means, what the fuck are you looking at?! Look and pay, sucka.
The last one. Awwwwww... Can you feel it? Love. Oh my god. So loving. After years of courting, going through thick and thin, fighting the storms and the PMSes, at last we're getting married! So happy. In certain countries, the middle finger sign is like a marriage vow. It means I'll have this finger in your ass and you'll have yours in my p***y. Sweet right. There you go, the international sign. Peace. _|_

P/s: Oh for the marriage vow thingy, be careful with the finger in the ass.

The valley between 2 mountains

2007-07-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

Valley of love, Ravine of depthless joy, Intermammary sulcus, Décolletage (thats French noobs), Longkang is the few names that we regard as the ever so beautiful cleavage.

For those girls that do not know what a cleavage is, let me help you. Put your hands straight by your side all the way down to your waist. Now slowly move the top of your elbow to the center of the body. You'll feel a press against your chest. There you go, you got your cleavage. Girls under 18, leave this blog now! Don't even bother trying. It won't work. Girls with flat chest, don't be sad. Wonderbra does wonders. Pay a visit soon yah.

For guys that do not know what a cleavage is, locate the nearest wall. Okay? Start banging your head against it.
Todays topic is extremely serious. Its about the art and power of cleavage. Its also part of Sun Tzu art of war. Its able to blind your enemy with distraction. With the art of cleavaging, guys attention are usually distracted. They eyes tend to circle around and around, trying hard to look at your face and take a quick peek at your cleavage. (I've done that) Now, this could be further enhanced with tattoos. With tattoos, the attention gets diverted even more. Words that was uttered from the opposite sex makes no sense. He would paused for 2 seconds. Watch out for the drools as well. Cleavage opens door for opportunities. You go through any kind of securities easier. You realized that promotion and pay rise comes faster than expected. The world seemed like a better place.

Nowadays, its just everywhere. Its a total common sight in Myspace,
in Friendster,
beaches,
clubs,
and just many more.

Heck they even have 'National Cleavage Day' in South Africa. Sigh, my opinion. Cleavage is not a bad thing at all. Its a two ways thing. You girls enjoy giving, we guys enjoy receiving. Would talk about the evolution of the art of cleavage in future posts. Good night students.

Lets jump together gether

2007-07-25T14:08:00.000+08:00

When i say 'jump', what is the first comes across your mind? Is it the feeling that you're close to flying? Or are you scared, not knowing where you would land. Or perhaps you're thinking where would be the best place to jump from? What would it be? I felt like flying, well, when I was younger.

Parents would just call us kids, monkey, jumping around doing nothing beneficial jumping around. Well, people call me monkey up till this very day, although I don't know why. There's so many things I've done in my younger days. I jump alot back then but, what about now? I don't anymore. You? Are we forgetting the art of jumping as we grow older? Or we simply just don't jump anymore because its not what adults do. Is the joy of jumping, being all happy and free not important to us anymore?
Now, how many of you actually did that before? Jumping of a swinging swing. Those who have yet to try it before, let me tell you how it feels. You're feel all released, free, tenseless, stressless, happy all at the same time for 2 seconds and you'll fall on the hard floor or maybe break your ass. So is it worth the jump? Of course, NOT. Don't need jump so high la. Lower jump, same satisfaction. Jump at your own risk.

Anyway, I found out that not everyone forgot how to jump, there are still people that enjoys jumping. Enjoy reminding themselves that jumping actually feels good. Do you still wanna jump? Lets do it!

Okay, I have some feedbacks that girls are not too keen on jumping like that. Not all girls, but those with juicy ~~lemon~~ melons. Don't worry about it. We promise we won't look. We have our heavy balls to look after as well. So just jump. Oh yeah, by the way, those with flat chest, no worries. This does not concern you. So worry no more and jump happily. :D

Ass fingering (Finger in the ass)

2007-07-24T17:20:00.000+08:00

I know, I know. Imaginations are already running wild because the damn title is finger in the ass. Yeah, some might say that its not that high compared to some pussy cat fingering. But today's story to tell is indeed about finger up in the ass. And you get it wrong. Not a womans ass. But a man's ass. Well, we don't have much option right? Thats like the only hole below the waist for a man. (Ahem, starts talking the Uncle Sam way)
So a couple my friends get together on a Saturday evening for a somewhat small college reunion talking about almost everything under the sun although the sun is going down already at that time. And we whine about whose job is tougher and we boast about who's earning more pay. We laughed hysterically at stupid statements and it was all good, UNTIL..

One of my friends starts talking about having a finger in the ass. He said that you could have orgasm or ejaculation without stimulating your little bro. We were stoned for about 3.14 seconds and then we started laughing again. We have scenario of a limp dick ejaculating. And maybe imagining controlling it like a water gun, shooting at desired target. Or it may be cooler if we can adjust the range and power as well. Again, it sounded stupid UNTIL..
After I do some research, I figured out its real! Damn real. Read more about it here. Gosh, didn't know there's such a thing on earth. Man can ~~masturbate~~ finger themselves now. How cool is that? No wonder those guys in the Japanese AV has perfect timing and aim. Practice makes perfect! I'm with a troubled mind now. So guys, lock your room doors now and start fingering away. Good day.

Oh by the way, guys that do it themselves and girls that volunteer to be kinky, please remember one thing. Cut your nails, take off your rings and also scrub, wash those fingers later on. We don't want another repeat of the 'Roti Canai Tahi' legacy spreading around again.

Call at your own risk

2007-07-20T11:33:00.000+08:00

Today is not just another day. I'm scared. Hello? Hello? Hello?
All that I could remember is that I black out after calling this number. I could listen to a voice putting me to sleep. She gently told me to let go. I don't know let go off what. I just feel really sleepy and I doze off. My girlfriend said I was mumbling 'Goodbye' in Mandarin. And she tried waking hard waking me up. After applying 'Minyak Cap Kapak' under my nostrils, I woke up blurry. Thats all that I can remember. I'm scared.
Originally posted by Desmond, KL

She was saying 'Jai jian le' (Goodbye) and then she suddenly screams 'Pu yao ta lai le' (Don't call here anymore. I threw my phone and break it. Thats the last word and its echoing in my head now. Is there really such a person? Can someone tell me the truth?
Originally posted by Kong, Sabah

She's a nice girl. I talked to her a couple of times. She told me she was lonely and she just wanted someone to talk to. I thought, why not la huh. I'm alone sometimes and everybody needs a friend also. So I called her. There was no ringtone. She answered right away. I chatted with her a while. She told me her parents were out and she doesn't sleep much. Everything was okay. Until the moment I asked her, her name. She just kept repeating 'Jai Jian Le'. And I heard the exact whisper behind me. Gosh, I must have fainted.
Originally posted by Billy, Selangor

These are the testimony from the people that called the number. So are you ready?

046461234

Call at your own risk. Rumors had that this is the voice of a little girl before she suicide.
Okay, now for real stuff. I called. Freaky. Tell me if you've tried it. And thats if you're still able to send me a message. Good luck, friends.

I'm still scared. Very scared.

Whats your ambition?

2007-07-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

When I was just a little ~~girl~~ boy,
I ask my mother, what will I be?
Will I be handsome? Will I be rich?

I am handsome. Just not rich yet. :D

Everyone has an ambition don't they? From great ambitions to lousy ones. When we were all in primary schools, even in the school form, we have to fill in our desired ambition. When i peeped at my other classmates form, it was all great ambitions, such as doctors, engineers, policeman, fireman and such. But none of them today are what they once desired to be. Losers! Haha.
Because as we grow up. Jobs such as doctors and engineers seemed too far away and can be deemed as a dream for our current efforts in studying. And policeman and fireman is not suitable jobs for us in Boleh land. So they end up becoming something else. But not what they initially wanted to be. Is it because we were too young and naive?

But I'm different. When I was younger and my parents asked me what I want to be when I grow up. 1 word just came out from my mouth, 'Boss'. I wanna be boss! Although I don't really know what a boss does during those days. Even today, there's no such occupation called a boss. We even call the waiters at the mamak, boss. A gangster head is also a boss. So whats a boss? A boss is more like a businessman or even a manager to me. But thats not important. What I'm concerned with is the joy of being a boss.
So ask me again. Whats my ambition now? I still want to be a boss. Thats when i would sleep early on a Sunday night and get fresh and ready for a Monday morning. Life can we wonderful, so go become a boss. No harm starting from a mamak waiter. Good luck, boss.

Is it Caturday already?

2007-07-18T20:21:00.001+08:00

Awww...it's been some time since our last Animal Planet topic. Well, it's time for some ass kickin' ~~pussies~~ cuties!
Everybody loves pussy fightin' lalala..lalala.. err..WHAT I mean is cat!, okay? It's adorable, ain't it? Today I'm gonna tell you guys why cats are always being perceived as the villains? You see Sylvester, Tom, the Persian cats, the Siamese cats and many more in movies. Why can't they be good for once and let the tiny little mouse be the bad guy? Okay, you see... Caturday do exist and there's a reason why they've always been the bad guys. (refer to the post on Caturday, or go and search in the library ler)
Every Caturday, they have this meeting. They actually wanna send their candidate for next general ~~erection~~ election. But firstly, they need to do some recruitment la.. like having some humans in their party. They know the rules in Mehsia, everything also must have quota one. So, as a friend, I help them to advertise la. Anyone wants to join Barisan Cational, please leave your details okay?
Oh yah, free karate lessons!

" Vote for Barisan Cational "

Who you gonna call? McDonald's!

2007-07-18T11:58:00.000+08:00

What comes across your mind when you're at home and its a rainy day? Do you feel that its all relaxing and looking at the rain pouring down somehow settles down the rage inside you, making you feel all easy and relaxed. The rain are playing a melody of its own and the moment become somewhat romantic. Aww.. Okay, thats not me. I'm just saying some people feel that way. I'ma man okay!

When it starts to rain, in the neighborhood,
Who you gonna call?

McDonald's.

Surfing Ronald in Bali

So for me, on a rainy day, the first thing that comes into my mind was to grab my phone and start dialing 1300 13 1300. Yes, the number for McDonald's delivery. Why? I don't know. I think my main reason is that if you want to pay for delivery, better make it worthwhile. Since for them, traveling under the rain would definitely be a challenge. Man, I'm evil.
But seriously, how often do you use their delivery service. Are you glued to the chair or your face sticked to the tele in front of you? And believe me there are cases like this around. So please, the next time around before you pick up your phone and dial for McDonald's Delivery, make sure its raining. Or unless you have any handicapped. If you are not, please get something hard and start breaking your legs.
So people, don't be so lazy la kay. Move your arse! Have a great Wednesday. :D

Cultural learning of Bali

2007-07-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

Some of you may know that recently I've made a trip to Bali. Its for the 'Cultural learning of Bali for make benefit the glorious nation of Malaysia'. Yeah Borat inspired. So lemme share some goodie good culture with you. Todays lesson would be on cultural learning la of course, you can't read the title? Okay, there was one fine afternoon where our taxi driver 'Wayan' brought us to the Bali Museum in Denpasar. Well, its a museum la. What do you expect from a museum right? They have artifacts, painting... Zzz
But I did not forget the purpose of my trip, which is a cultural learning trip. Just some quick and strange facts. Babies in Bali would not touch the ground before they are 3 months old. They believe that the evil spirit would reach to the babies, as evil spirit cannot jump, they only crawl. After that they have to live in a sangkar (cage) for some time before they can officially crawl around.

So how? Malaysian babies not bad la huh. At least you got the freedom to crawl around and pee at your favourite spot.

After walk walking for a while, who also will become hungry la. So my handsome taxi mate says 'Jom, saya bawak you pergi makan'. All exicited, hoping into the taxi, he drove for about 15 seconds and we reach our destination. What? No, it wasn't a typo. It was a 15 seconds drive. The makan place is right beside the museum. I'm wondering why he drove at the first place, but nevermind. At first my sight is blinded by aromatic smoke.

Then the smoke start to give way, thinking that it might be a paradise or a genie behind the smoke but I was wrong. It was an auntie! An auntie squatting down roasting what seemed familiar to me, satay. Wahaha. Satay in Indon. Should be not bad. But then my taxi man say its not like any other satay. Its sate penyu (turtle satay).
So it makes me wonder. Turtle is endangered in Malaysia right? But then, this is Indonesia. Who cares right? I'm not an environmentalist also. Haha. It is super duper ultra sedap. Saw that darker piece of meat? Thats the turtle heart, and it comes with ketupat. How much?
Rp3,000=RM1.20

Cultural learning of the day;
Being a baby in Bali= 3 months less freedom
Turtle satay= Was told that the satay the used for satay was their breed. Sounded more like bollocks to me but oh well, Shut up and eat your food!

Oh, I missed out the dog satay by the way. Ewwww...

Welcome to Klang

2007-07-16T11:04:00.000+08:00

After writing for a while now, Engrish teachers have yet to write about the place they're from. The place they've grown up up and the place they call home. So let me bring you to have a look look see see at one of the most beautiful place on earth, Klang. I'm not going to go all geographical about Klang. Waste of my finger's energy. The first phrase that are associated with Klang is definitely Bah Kut Teh(Meat Bone Tea). But today, I also don't want to talk about BKT.

Anyway, lemme just show you the first BKT shop in Klang. We call it Kio Kar BKT(Under the bridge BKT).
Now, I'll tell you some facts about Klang. Some undocumented real brutal facts.

Many people regard Klang people as 'lala'. Yeah, guys and girls with Japanese sense of fashion but tak jadi. Gothic wannabe. Girls with polka dots and laces and takes pictures with the 'V' or peace sign. Guys with gold patches of hair like some dog just shitted on their head. In fact there are plenty of them all over in the streets of Klang. And you sum them up with some lesson of 'Hokkien vulgarism'. It matches perfectly like a pile of shit and a dirty ass.

Sad to say but thats the fact. Your schooling days won't be easy because there are thugs all around you bearing the different number representing their society in different areas of Klang. Therefore mixing getting the right influence in school is important. Survival 101 is a lesson learned by experience and time.
Don't be surprised if you spot a dead body in the Klang river because this has been a normal sight. There is a police station by the river and desperate criminals will take their chances to jump of the building into the river. Michael Scofield's attempt in Prison Break has proven to be influential. The outcomes are;

1. Fall on the river bank, break hands/legs and die
2. Fall into the river with their cufss on, and die
3. Fall into the river, couldn't swim, and die

Oklarh, I got this from a reliable source. A friend not wanting to be named, his job is to collect those rubbish and whatsoever that floats at the Klang river. There is a place where they will trap whatever that floats. So he told me this super good fact.

Bodies that float facing upwards are guys and those floating facing downwards are woman. I don't know how true is this but it seems like this has always been the case. How? Good or not my facts.
But but but, no matter how ugly it may be. There's always a bright side to it. Lets see what we can learn. From the lalas, we know how not to be one. From the thugs, we learn that in life if you cannot do things the soft way, do it the hard way. And from the prison break case, we have learned that in Klang or Boleh land. Bribing is the key to escape, not jumping. And with this I welcome you folks to Klang.

Rempit rempit Rempit!

2007-07-13T14:44:00.001+08:00

HOT! Interview with a real Mat Rempit. Real name will not be disclosed to protect Mr Malayneum from being attacked by other rempits. We managed to get him to answer a few questions.

Q: What makes u wanna be a rempit?

A: I want become a rempit because i want showoff that im best of the best. Also is a very competitive sport because lots of youth are doing it.

Q: Under what influence? peer? family? love?

A: No pressure,this what i can afford i dolah, not like rich people ,buy car then race when damage cost $$$$ enough to buy one bike.

Q: What do u do for living? study? working?

A: I study,hehe u must lurk moar to know where im studying.

Q: What job? study wat?

A: Hehe go search around

Q: Do u have ambition?

A: My ambition last time was stunt rider, but now i want i think i want open up a spare part shop lah which has nothing to do with my studies rclxub.gif

Q: What do u think of this country? what can u do for the country?

A: I think malaysia is the bestest country, i can contribute my country by being loyal and become part of umno which i am(youth umno)

Q: What do u think will change u? or will u change at the first place?

A: Change for what?im the best,ppl envy me and want be like me.

Q: There's so many bad things that rempit did to ppl, and its not good, what do u think?

A: Arhhhhh they say this and that ,actually anyone can ride bike what,old ppl also ride, i think its car people who do rempit business,they wanna put shame on motorcyclist so they use motorcycle instead so can embarass us.

Q: Finally, is there anything u want to tell to ppl abt u? feel free to write here.

A: Malayneum akan datang dgn mylifestorypart|V!

Malayneum in action!

Human Tetris Strikes Back!

2007-07-11T10:51:00.000+08:00

Do you remember when the tetris craze hits the town? It's when everyone's got it! Anyone don't know shit about tetris please click here.

Well, as time goes on, so is the tetris mania. It has declined and its out already. Who still plays it now? Why tetris when we have PSP? Well, Japanese are real good in bringing back the dead trend alive. Have a look at this clip below. Enjoy!

Our very own MISS-es MALAYSIA!

2007-07-09T15:35:00.001+08:00

Now I present you our fu lovely ~~MrsAuntie~~ errr Miss Malaysia ~~Ulu~~Universe 2007! She is for real the winner of the competition, don't ask me why or "are you sure?" . Yes! I'm 100% sure eventho' I ~~can't~~ can believe it myself because she is so fu worthy to represent Malaysia. Come on, ~~wack~~ say HI to her when you see her around the shopping mall or anywhere. She's so fu chun that you'll go ~~puke~~ awww..when you see her.

Lemme tell you about the situation when she got up to the stage during Miss Universe.

*She walks to the front of the stage.

Host: Now we have contestant no.2 from Malaysia, Miss Adelaine Chin.....aiks, Aunty where are you from? we're in the middle of the show, err please get back to your seat.

Ade: What! I'm Miss Malaysia ok! so beauty you call me "aunty"? You BLIND ar!?

Host: Malaysia is indeed a very small nation. Here she is, ~~Mrs~~ Miss Malaysia!

Ade: Hi guys, I'm Adelaine and I'm from Malaysia. People here are friendly and humble, I was so shy when people call me " Lenglui", I know I am larr but you know me, I don't like to show off.

Judge: So Maam, sorry Miss Adelaine; What do you want to do if you win this competition?

Ade: That's simple, because I personally think i'm the favourite to win. If I win, I'm gonna travel around the world to let people have a look at my beauty. After that I hope to get into Hollywood and maybe Brad Pitt will leave Angelina for me leh right?.

Judge2: That is a beautiful dream! ...err can somebody bring in 2 paper bags please? One is for me, and another is for her.

Miss Adelaine, you have inspired alot of people in the world. You never give up and we salute your self confidence. Wish you all the best!..

Math is not so boring after all..

2007-07-09T10:33:00.001+08:00

This morning when I was searching through my stuffs in the storeroom, I found alot of old things which make me reminisce. There are bunny soft toy, X-men figurines, eraser collection, and exam papers. I looked at this particular math paper with such emotion that I feel like crying. It was legendary... such sweet memories..

Love is in the air? Smell it? No..that's fart!

2007-07-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

Yawn~~ today is a sleepy day. Let's discuss about feelings today. Happy, Sad, Angry..bla bla bla and what makes all these feelings? Hah...most critical one I can say is LOVE! people love to love, love to hate and some love to play with love. "I love you, you love me... no more?" Well, it's pretty normal that people fall in love and so it is to fade away.

What I heard is, DO NOT say you love him/her forever if you have doubt about it. Be persistent in keeping a relationship? Perseverance is important. It's not wrong to love and to give up love on someone. What I would like to BOLD out here is that, be responsible! it may not have any effect on you. How about the other side? What comes around goes back around...err what goes around comes back around.. WHATEVER!

Okay, this post is actually a dedication to our best buddy here, Miss Sven Sim (no affiliation with Sven-Goran Eriksson) ya!. This fella here is a pain in the arse, always don't listen to us! hah! LoL.. ok lar this is her post, must pei min.. This is her picture, who ever wants her contact not so easy wooo.. Send in your application form with complete details. Introduction fee i kira reasonable one, can pay via Visa, PayPal or Western Union also.

Okay, her story is like this.. she always do so much for a guy, not that she's so "easy" okay! but because of her attitude and dedication in love. I lazy to explain lar, click here for Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy in Love. Like what our other Engrish teacher said "In a relationship, do not strip off your clothes right away, must slowly slowly take off one at a time (that includes some teasing *naughty*)" very philo the sophy right? So, stewlens if you need love advice, you can Private Message him la..

So guys, please visit SvenSim's blog for more interesting *grin* love story. Inside have some chinese writings which I ~~can't~~ err..not really good at.. :) Enjoy..and we all hope she will find someone worthy of her and live happily ever after...

Rappin' granny? Thrilling...

2007-07-05T11:21:00.000+08:00

Okay, toolay we talk about music. Do you like music? I personally love to listen to Maikel Jackson. His song and his dance moves very the mesmerizing la. I remember one song called "Thriller" by MJ. Fuuyooh... the song damn ~~cunted~~ chunted ler.. but I dont encourage piracy okay! Don't go download illegally yah.. and dont buy pirated ones. I know this ahbeng he go and buy pirated MTV dvd and you know what he got inside? Must see these videos below!! Highly recommended.

Haha nice or not? Now everything also can already la.. even Lao Zha Bor also can RAP! show this clip to your grandmother. This is the "in" thing now mar..

Now go get your lima puluh sen or M&M album and play it out loud.. Rap it with your grandmomma!

For those still not enough with this granny, you may visit her blog here. Respect!

Special Announcement: Your other Engrish teacha is goin to Bali toolay.. so we'll wait and see what surprises he'll be bringin back next week.

Ronaldinho Who?

2007-07-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

Due to the top stewlen's demand for football post, okay-ler here you go. Wanna ask you, how much do you know about football? All you guys know is Ronaldinho, Rooney, Beckham, Ronaldo, Dodo and etc etc. Ask you a question... who is the Greatest Football Entertainer in The World?

A. Ronaldinho
B. C.Ronaldo
C. Z.Ibrahimovic
D. Mr. Woo

WHO IS MR. WOO?? next door Ahpek ar?

The answer is him lor, thats right Mr. Woo is the Greatest Football Entertainer in The World. No kidding ya, I take this from Wikipedia.

Hee Young Woo, also known as Mr Woo, as he has become more popularly known, was born (November 13, 1963). He is a former South Korea football player. Born in Seoul, South Korea, at a very early age Woo realized he had football talent. Inspired by Diego Maradona and his unique ball control ability, Woo practiced and practiced to emulate the skill. Woo won a national football skills competition in Korea and decided he wanted to become a professional footballer. Woo achieved this in Korea and then went on to play professionally in the German league for Stuttgart Kickers. Still practicing his ball skills, Woo realized he wanted to become famous worldwide as "the Greatest Football Entertainer in the World".

Hee Young Woo, broke the Guinness Book of World Records for football head tricks in 1989 by heading a ball for 5 hours, 6 minutes and 30 seconds.

Whilst in Germany, Woo performed at the final of the German Cup and then back in Korea, Woo did his amazing skills routine at the opening ceremony of the Seoul 1988 Summer Olympics. During the 1990 FIFA World Cup, Woo performed for Pelé at this 50th Birthday celebration event. Woo then moved to Hawaii in the U.S.A. and began coaching as well performing at various events in Las Vegas. He performed again for fans in 1994 FIFA World Cup and on numerous occasions performed in front of big audiences for the Outrigger Hotels group in Hawaii. Mr woo has also visited Rokeby school in Kingston.

Woo again became involved in the 2002 FIFA World Cup when the tournament was held in his native Japan/Korea. As an ambassador for the World Cup 2002 in Korea, Woo promoted the event at many games.

Woo then decided to perform his skills in the UK, the 'home of football' and has performed on television, for Nike in recent freestyle commercials and events across the UK, at football matches, corporate events, coaching and even impromptu public appearances whilst he practices his skills. During the film shoot for the Nike Stickman TV commercial, Brazil World Cup winner Ronaldinho was so impressed he even asked Woo to sign his football. This is the only time Ronaldinho has ever asked for an autograph. Woo has already received great feedback from adoring fans in England and is widely renowned as the Greatest Football Entertainer in the World.

Please click here for his official website.

Crack your head lah!

2007-07-03T23:50:00.000+08:00

Okay. Today we have another quick short late night lesson. Notice how some people like to 'crick crack' their damn head from left to right as if they look damn majio or telling the world they have crackable head that makes crackable sound? Damn, they are stupid. But let me tell you, they won't be majio for long because doctors found that there are side effects to eat. Now you head crackers, die!

I have to show you this panda cos this panda is a blardy pain in the ass. The China people already tried so hard to breed pandas by showing pandas porn movie(This is true) and at last gave birth to a panda, but a head cracking one. It now suffers from a permanent-head-tilting damage. See things also jacked up dee. It will happen to you if you the next time you 'crick crack' your head. You'll tend to see things strangely as well.
Die or not?! So take off that bad habit.

P/s:Actually I also 'crick crack' my head. Just got lectured from my mum. Damn tulan. So express abit. Haha. Damn. Cracking my head is still better than cracking my nuts wut. Mothers will always be ~~naggers~~ mothers. Good night!

Sweet dreams, chicken..

2007-07-03T13:39:00.000+08:00

Aiyo! the neighbour's cock, i mean the chicken. It's so annoying la, keep coming into my yard and messed up my plants and shits all over. This is my neighbour and he's crazy. I heard he 's a yokozuna (sumo champion) and I don't wanna mess with him and er.. he loves his cock..the chicken!

So, I decided to look for this ol' lady. Peeple says that she can solve any problem, just give her angpao will do. After I told her my problem, she asked her son to follow me back. At home, his son shows me the way to handle the cock (chicken!). You all wanna know how?

Like this lorr...

PRISON 101 - a special case study

2007-07-02T13:36:00.000+08:00

As you can see in the pictures below are would-be bandits Anthony Prince, 20, and Luke Carroll, 19. The men, both Australian residents who came to Vail to work during the ski season, pleaded guilty in June to the $130,000 heist, which they pulled off with the aid of unloaded BB guns.
See that!? Nice pose or not? They are dubbed the "dumb and dumber" robbers and sentenced to 5 years jail.

Before go to jail must know more about prison ok! Please click here for PRISON 101.

Now, Let me briefly tell you about the best best prisons in the world.
World's most valuable prison - San Quentin State Prison, California. Capacity 3317
The land underneath 154yr old san quentin state prison is estimated to be worth $80 to $100 million, instantly making it the most valuable prison in the world. it occupies 275 acres of oceanfront land overlooking the bay, some say the most valuable real estate in the whole country. that got me thinking, what’s the insurance like on these places?

World's smallest prison - Sark Prison, Sark, Quernsey. Capacity 2

Sark prison is located on the island of sark in guernsey, was built in 1856 and is apparently the smallest in the world. it can house 2 prisoners at a push and is still used for overnight stays - if you continue to play up after that you’ll get shipped off to a proper grown-up jail with corridors and staff.World's most secure prison - Adx supermax, Florence, Colorado. Capacity 550
This is the king of all prisons, and I mean the evil king. to be fair, it’s what a prison should be: harsh. even the name means business, supermax prisons being the securest in the world. This ‘high-tech alcatraz’ was opened in 1994 and is home to only the most violent and dangerous criminals in the country. those pesky prisoners have absolutely no contact with each other at any time and spend 22 hours per day in solitary confinement (cell size 7ft x 8ft), leaving plenty of time to consider what to have as their last meal (by the way, mine would be steak, griddled asparagus and creamy mash). a lot of convicts who enter adx, understandably, lose their mind pretty soon after entering and unless you own a sentence of 25yrs or over you aint getting in.

World's strangest prison - San Pedro, Bolivia. Capacity 800

Convicts at San Pedro in Bolivia have to pay rent for a cell and they all have jobs within the prison. a large number have partners and children staying with them and tourists/backpackers are allowed to enter the prison but must be accompanied by a tour guide (a prisoner) for safety reasons. Tourists can even stay the night in a cell for a small fee and a large number of them frequent the jail in order to buy cocaine from inmates as it’s apparently the purest and cheapest in Bolivia. It’s also been suggested that local police only enter the facility to collect bribes.

World's best looking prison - Leoben justice centre, Steiermark, Austria. Capacity 205
It was created by Hohensinn Arkitektur. It reminds me of Ikea, and i have to say i think i’d rather be locked up in the actual prison - i’d be less likely to punch someone in the head due to frustration. seriously though, why spend the effort and time making a prison look that attractive? was there absolutely nothing else to focus on? if i was a homeless steiermarkian i’d be assaulting people in front of coppers and spitting on police cars until i was arrested.
World's most famous prison - Alcatraz/The Rock, San Francisco Bay, California. Capacity 330
The island served as a prison for 29yrs, ceasing operation in 1963. it was a hardcore ‘inescapable’ jail and many prisoners found the surrounding water as an invitation to try and flee. Officially no-one succeeded (maybe Sean Connery?), but ‘thirty-four prisoners were involved in 14 attempts, two men trying twice; seven were shot and killed, two drowned, five were unaccounted for, and the rest were recaptured’. good effort though.
World's most overcrowded prison - Kresty prison, St. Petersburg, Russia
Russia’s prisons have a reputation for being the most overcrowded on earth, especially kresty prison in st. petersburg. Official capacity: 3,000 . Actual population: always at least 10,000 Number of square metres per prisoner allocated by the russian government: 4

Amount of time permitted for each prisoner’s weekly shower: 15 minutes

Source from DeputyDog. For more tips, please watch Prison Break.

Need pen-pal? Here is the original letter from one of the convicts.

Hi,

my name is Richy Ramirez: black hair, brown eyes, 5’4 (5’5 on a good day!) I have been on death row 19 years.

I have a good sense of humor – enjoy music: Classic Rock – Oldies – Blues, and I am a serious artist. I spend a good portion of my day drawing; mostly wildlife. I also exercise daily; keeping my body and mind fit is important to me.

I’m not seeking romance, but a good friend, and maybe some that might act as an outlet for my artwork.

Please reach to me direct:

R. Ramirez

P.O. Box C-24042

San Quentin State Prison

San Quentin, CA 94974

USA

Want to know WHO is Richy Ramirez?? please click here to find out!!

Boys and Cars

2007-07-02T09:51:00.001+08:00

Boys will be boys, and you may question what's their obsession with cars? You see, the process is a cycle itself. When you were born, you'll have your small toy car by your side. When you are "old" enough to know what car is, you'll get one which you can drive around, by pedalling of course.

And when the car is getting too small for your size, you start collecting mini car models, like hot wheels especially. When you see a McD ads on TV about their latest toy car in Kiddy Set Meals, you keep pestering your parents to go there, ended up having McD as breakfast, lunch and dinner. Time flies, and now they even have a 2-gear mini car models in Ferrari.

Then there are times when you are on the backseat looking out of the window when your dad is driving. You'll think your dad as Schumacher and you keep commenting as if its on the racetrack. "Oh, daddy overtook Proton BDU 1818 , nice turning here and there".. then you'll get bored and tired, you just look out of the window, thinking " when am I gonna get my own car? I want to grow up fast!"

When you finally completed high school, you get your driving license. You are so eager to drive, you don't mind what car it is, even an old junk. You keep finding reasons why you need a car badly, but the fact is you only have ONE reason. You want to show it off! right?

Okay, finally your dad got you your first car. You are so excited that you will wash it daily til' your car changes from black to white. You decorate and keep alot of stuffs in there as tho' that is your second home. First thing, you will drive it out to meet your friends, and pick up the chicks. :) Thats the time you wouldnt mind being "the driver". Where you wanna go? I'll bring you there!"

After a few years of driving, you'll wish you don't need to drive. You got stucked in a traffic jams, you've got traffic summonses, you saw accidents, you met coffee lover policemen, and gung-ho drivers. So, do you still wish that you'll grow up a little faster so you can get to drive? :) Drive safely alright..

Emergency Post

2007-07-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

Super kanjiong, super anxious, super fast post. No time to check or even read through. This post is going to be an emergency one. A real, real emergency. I believe everyone of you sure got emergency time one.

Example 1; Watching porn in the hall with surround sound system. Damn syiok. Suddenly parents come home.
Emergency 1; At the nick of the moment, you would be in an emergency state where desicion have to made immediately such as turning off the main power supply.

Even I had my own emergency moment as mentioned in 'Example 1'. :P I believe everyone has. Nowadays the society also help us to build a solution for us to react to any sorts of emergency. Or maybe its for deco purposes wan larh.

Engrish emergency ass on, don't touch.
Too many people misuse the emergency button already, thats why now governments are working hand in hand to play back the public.
But among all the emergency signs, our beloved China pride, mother of all ~~pirated~~ things on earth is the greatest among all. They are so kind that they have emergency control for all sorts of situation. So no need sked when go China. What kind of emergency you have, just refer to the board.
Have a great emergency weekend! And Engrish lesson for today; please watch porn in your room, not your hall. Peace out.

P/s: A special thanks to Ah Pek for linking Engrish 101 in his blog. Must visit Ah Pek yah cos Ah Pek a day, bring all those Ah Ma away. May leng luis flourish your life. Good day. :)

Guys and Girls play with dolls

2007-06-29T13:29:00.000+08:00

Its a common sight to see girls with Barbie dolls when we were young. Some still play them when they're old. They change their Barbie's clothe, comb her hair, give her a nice bath and then bring her go 'pak toh' with Ken is his stupid toy Mercidis. We boys would just tease them. Yerr, you play with 'babi' wan ah. We guys play with guns, cars and majio majio stuffs like Transformers(by the way, the movie was great), spy gadgets and stuff. Cmon larh, thats what a real man should be. Or at least when we were young, thats what a 'man wannabe' should be.

But I was totally wrong. When I walk walk see see in Yeah-pan! Got one man approach me, ask me wanna buy doll onot. I thought he must be outta his mind? Do I look like a man with daughter or do I look like a sissy that plays around with doll. Okay, I know I look like one. Haha.

After he showed me the catalog, I stopped walking and asked him 'Boss, can view the real thing ah?'. The thing is ~~fuckable~~ playable dolls are becoming a hype in Japan, and I mean dolls for guys. Yeah man, they are dolls for girls as well not so hot. No market. So the boss revealed the his dolls.
Man, they look real. So i ask him la the dolls for what purpose. He say is for those people not enough love. Can bring home and make some love. Then what surprised me is that there are variation of dolls to choose from. Just like human, got pretty, got ugly, got pork chop also.
I know you must be wondering how does it feel when you touch. Its just like real. Can feel the bouncy bouncy fleshy fleshy. And they can hold on to positions like kneeling or standing or squat. You name it, she do it. And even her lips are like real human lips. Fuuyoh!
So you can dress her anything you want. 'Play' anyhow you want. So now you know! Not only girls play with dolls. Guys play with ~~sex~~ human-figured dolls as well. Oh yeah, you wanna know how much ahh?

It comes with a variety of bodies, faces, and hairstyles that cost from 140,000 yen(US$1, 150) for a basic model to 650,000(US$5, 400) for models with realistic latex skins and internal metal skeletons. Don't play play.

Dinner in the Sky

2007-06-29T11:37:00.001+08:00

Ok stewlens, I tell you this story when I was in Belgium. This place they called it Brussels, not a vegetable. It's like Kola Lumpor to Mehsia la. So I was with this kwai lo friend of mine, we are so hungry and was looking for a place to dine. We walk here and there also same boring restaurant. I know we hungry la but still we don't simply eat anywhere one ok. You think we so simply?

So, while walking around in the city, suddenly rain wor. BUT WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WET? then I looked up, I see this crane with a big carriage thing.

Wow! what's that?! and why I smell like pee? Then this guy came to us and asked if both of us wants to join in their group for the next session. He told us, it was actually called "Dinner in the SKY". It's a restaurant which serves up to 22 people at a session and up to 8 hours where you can dine in the sky. And THAT is something that we are looking for! so we agreed.

I very ~~sexcited~~ excited when I finally aboard the "restaurant". There is one ~~cunt~~ chun chick who briefs us on safety and other things we need to know about the restaurant.
I looked at the menu and guess what.. They have western food, and they sell diapers!!? What the fuck? and only one drink leh, The Pellegrino. I'm not good in drinking and i will frequently need to go to the toilet one. Where is the toilet??! Now I know why the water from the sky just now smells like pee la. Damn, that guy never wear Pampers! only 1.99€ a piece also he wanna save.

Okay, here I include the price list for the full package. Anywan wants to go, can click here.

PRICE LIST FOR BELGIUM (VAT 21% excluded) Basis – 8 hours
Dinner in the Sky (table + crane + logistic & security staff) Transport in Belgium (table + crane) & client location scouting Options	7.900,00 € 750,00 €
Location Package (location research, negociation & renting) Photo Package (photographer & website) Welcome Package (desk, hostess, wc) Power Package (generator + music & lights) Extra hour (maximum 4) Customisation (table, seat) Catering Second crane Animation	1.125,00 € 630,00 € 475,00 € 850,00 € 265,00 € 1.250,00 € on estimate on estimate on estimate
Payment conditions (50% > on order, 50% > 30 days before the event) Weather risk insurance (10% of the total insured amount + 15% tax)

I had a Brussels Ribeye with a glass of Pellegrino. To dine in the sky is a lifetime experience; not dining inside aeroplane, jet or helicopter. Jeles or not? Then you should also go and experience it la. All my stewlens will get a complimentary 5-pack Pampers when you go there. Currently I have no plan for our field trip yet. So, I'll have to dismiss today's class. Bye for now.

Spinning girl illusion

2007-06-28T14:06:00.000+08:00

This girl is driving me nuts! My eyes are locked on her and I'm gonna go all crazy because of her. Why did she do that? What is she trying to prove? What is she trying to do?

What?! No, I'm not depressed in a relationship. I'm talking about this lady spinning illusion. Tell me, what did you see? A girl spinning clockwise? Right? No, you're wrong! She's spinning anti clockwise. Okay, thats not a perfect answer. She spins wherever you want her to.

Try this. Focus on her shadow/reflection below her. Now picture her spinning the other way. Opposite of what you're seeing now. Can you see her spinning a different direction? How long does it take you to see it? Gosh, I'm going nuts.

If anybody knows the mechanics behind this, do let me know. I'm getting some rest. She's totally fucking my brains up.

Racism and Stereotypes

2007-06-28T11:00:00.001+08:00

First and foremost, I would like to ask : are you a racist? If so, why do you differentiate them? Well...

Yes, how do a child born a racist? Environment? Family? Friends?

"Studies going back over 50 years have repeatedly arrived at the same conclusion -- racists have lower IQs than non-racists. The average intelligence quotient (IQ) of all members of the human race is 100 on the Stanford-Binet scale, as illustrated in the bell curves in the figure below. The average IQ of racists is up to 4 IQ points less than this (Montagu 1952 & 1988, Allport 1946, Frenkel-Brunswick and Sanford 1945). The reasons this is true are not entirely clear. Does racism attract the unintelligent or do the unintelligent default into racist mentalities? An exploration of this phenomenon can be most informative."

Can you see now, do you want to be a racist? If Racism is a religion and Racist is a race itself, should we discriminate them?

Look at this picture. What can you see?

Lovely right? Unity and peace. If YOU are a racist, you will see a devil with an angel hugging each other.

Do you have stereotypes on any race, culture, and religion? I want to share this story with you guys and judge yourself after this.

A man is taking a walk in Central park
in New York
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with
the dog.
He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene
walks over and says:
"You are a hero!"
Tomorrow you can read it in all the
newspapers:
"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl "
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
It will be said in newspapers in the morning:
"Brave American saves the life of little
girl"
"But I am not an American!" says the man.
"Oh, what are you then? " Police asked.
The man says: "I am an Iranian ! "
The next day the newspapers says:
"Islamic extremist killed innocent American dog!"

Now, what do you learn from this story? Is it merely a joke? Well, we can't deny that we have stereotypes on many things in this world. For example, we can say Amedikans are fat, self-centered, eat alot of hamburgers. Usually stereotypes are impressions what people form from things they never see.

Stereotypes; They say all Arabians are extremists, Malaysians are so boleh-able, and such.. but even if I don't agree and go against racism and stereotyping, I can't deny the fact that I think all japanese girls are like this..

Japanese teacher..
Japanese nurse..
Japanese schoolgirl..
Err.. it's getting out of topic soon, but there's so many pictures of her for me to choose from.. i'm spoilt for choice! ARGH....again, we love uniforms eh?

When animals sleep around

2007-06-27T12:43:00.000+08:00

Humans and animals fuck. Gosh, too direct. Okay, human and animals do mate. I've been thinking about this for a while now. But it strikes me again today. As my friend told me that he saw a dog fucking a cat near his house. What would the cat give birth to if its pregnant? Would it turn out to be a dog+cat=dogcat?(male to be name first) To be honest, I don't know. Is it possible? Don't know either.

Not long ago, we had these news of a Sudan man marrying a goat after they caught him fucking a goat. And he was forced to marry the goat. Very well, we thought it was hilarious and the end of the news. Months later we are hit by the another news that his goat partner matied/dieded after choking on a plastic bag. Hilarious again, but the thing that caught my attention that they actually have a kid(baby goat). Not human kid. So man+goat=goat kid. Most of us would thought that it would be some human goat. Or talking goat of some sort. So does hybrid exists? Between animals of different species or even human.

So let me show you some examples.

First one is the Tigon(Tiger+Lion). Its in Canberra Zoo.
Next up is the Liger(Lion+Tiger), which is freaking big, much bigger than any lion or tiger.
Then we got the zeedonk(Jibra+Donkey)
Cama(Camel+Llama). They have short ears and long tail of a camel, no hump and a llama hooves.
But all of this have yet to answer my own question of my friends incident. So I really don't know how to answer him. I asked around for answers. And at last when I was talking to my friend, his 5 year old brother overheard us. He politely interrupted and said he knows. And he gave us this.
Nickelodeon is not a bad thing after all. Very the educational. Young scientist in progress. Fucking hell.

Happy Birthday

2007-06-26T09:57:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday! Are birthdays supposed to be a happy one. Or is it just because its been associated with the word 'happy' therefore we should be happy. Or are we just trying to hard to be happy. But birthday are definitely occasions when you feel like the world is feeling you. I'm not trying to be all Shakespearian over here but when I was driving to work this morning. I felt that the blend of the grayish blue sky acknowledges my birthday. The wind was singing a rhythm of their own and it was all soothing but hollow at the same time, knowing that was a gap to fill. There was some emptiness and there was joy. God, I love the mornings.

Days when they thought we were too young for pornography. And days when you were too old sitting at the couch with cereals in your hand watching Spongebob and giggling away. Birthday carries different meaning for every single person.

There were those who are filled with joy and love.

Those who are sad remembering someone, something and those who are lonely

It may mean a thousand things. It may come with a stir of various emotions but it doesn't really matter at all, at least not today. Its your birthday. Happy birthday to whoever that are celebrating their birthday, on any day. Good day. :)

Thank You, Mr. Policeman!

2007-06-25T10:24:00.000+08:00

Peeple thinks that being a police officer, you are also a licensed robber. They misunderstood! Nowadays, many peeples join the police force to get free donuts, nasi lemak and free flow of coffee, as long as you help the law offenders by giving them a chance to change. Policemen are lovely ain't it? There are many heartwarming stories about police officers which accept a cup of coffee than ~~penis~~ penalise peeple.

You think it's easy to be a police officer? Sometimes, your own buddy will bite you. You'll have to drive so fast you shit on your pants just to catch up with an F1 driver. You'll be laughed at because you take a kid's bike for your own pleasure.

There are times when you go to the beach in a group and look for hot chicks. You guys will whistle and flirt " Hey sweetie!, I'm your friendly neigbourhood cop." When you are asked to go on a patrol, you quickly take out your rollers and off to the street in style.

Peeple has been asking why do you need so much for a cup of coffee but you did not disclose it because you wouldn't want them to worry about your financial problems. Actually you've been spending all your pocket money on buying KFC for peeple who throw bricks at you. Poor thing! you should have tell us your problem. We only found out about it from the paper.

You must be tired of all these but you never complain. Thanks Mr. Policeman! you can now have a good rest. Sleep tight~zzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ

Evolution of massage

2007-06-24T20:04:00.001+08:00

Massage was always to be considered a applying pressure or motion manually with your hands or with mechanical aids. We've always wanted a good massage after a long day work. Its a good way to release all the stress/pain and improves blood circulation. A thing you can't miss in Tigerland and Barley, Indonesia. Amazing what a massage can do for you.

And massage are also associated with 'hamsap lous' (lewd guys) going for some physical touchy with the massage chicks. Some go for guys as well. Not all, but some. And from there onwards, we have foot massage, ear massage, handjob massage and so on. Did I just say handjob? Oh well, yeah. It has pretty much evolve isn't it. And in the market there are players like OSIM and OGAWA to replace chicks and hunks with machines. It can cost up to 10k for one.
You want Russian/Tigerland/Chinese lady also no problemo. Because service is goodie good. Now there is also restaurant type massage coming up. After you massage got free soup wan. Wah! Unberifable rite? But its true!
Yeah man. After getting your chinese medicine soup foot massage, you can 'Yum seng' with your friend and go high on foot soup. And from restaurant themed massage, it has evolved to be a martial arts. Yes, massage is a killing art today. It comes with deadly moves that'll you go 'Oooohhh, Ahhhhh'. Swift and dangerous! I'm gonna show you 3 most deadly massage killer moves.

Number one, its called the 'Stare at your butt, and step, step, step backbone-breaking pattern'
And then you have. 'L-shaped hand-lock with the rising phoenix of the west sun'
And lastly my favorita, the deadliest combo of all time. 'Penis around the world'. This one I think will die of embarrassment. So far tried on guy only. Haven't proved to be successful on the girls yet.
So you see, massage have become very creative, fun, and deadly in the past years. What more can we see of massage in the coming years are for us to find out. Till then. Have a great day.

Of Gays and Lesbians

2007-06-23T14:49:00.000+08:00

Nah nah nah! Don't say Engrish Teacher is trying to discriminate, because I'm not. I have my own gay and lesbian friends as well. And I'm all cool with that, but 'you can't touch this'
(MC Hammer). Don't touchy touchy me, and I'm allll good. Todays lesson, there is one assumption that was with me all the while. I do not know about you, but me, I always had this mindset that gays are good looking/handsome/sexy and lesbians would be hot/pretty/sexy. But is that really the case? How often do you see fugly gays holding hands, doing a French in front of you?
D&G even had this gay themed ad. So much for the gay spenders out there but the question that we really have in mind today is, are all or most of the gays really that good looking/handsome?
Don't believe me? Hit to the nearest gay bar you know. If you don't know, drop me an email. I'll tell you where it is. And you go and have a look for yourself. Don't ask me to go there with you. Cos I don't feel save. Not a single bit. You girls can have all the fun you want there, cos NOBODY wants you. Haha.

People always find it easy to distinguish a gay. When people see guys holding hands, they'll go 'Hey, yerrrrrr.. You gay wan ahh?'. Well, why da fuck are you holding another guys hand in the first place. Okay, pardon me. But girls can easily hold another girls hand and its all okay? Fucking unfair rite? Talk about gender equality man. Okay, I sounded gay and the whole thing sounded so wrong. Skip skip.
Not lesbians but DJ Lesvians from Japan. Posting it cos i thought they were hot. Haha. Outta topic again, back to business. Show you some real stuff all da way from Russia. Hawt Hawt. So the panas!
So, what say you? You think like I do? Hot gays/lesbians you know? Gosh, suddenly i feel depressed. Can a guy be a lesbian? I wish.. Haha. Have a great weekend.

Girls, uniform please?

2007-06-22T14:05:00.000+08:00

Heylo stewlens. Today i'm introducing fashion tips that existed all along. Fashion tips that are so powerful, it'll make changes in some part of our life. I'm pretty sure all guys, if not all, most guys minus the gays have do have fantasies of woman in uniform. Whats the first uniform than plays around your mind? We'll see.

Now it works the same way with girls as well. They enjoy having/looking/tasting man with uniform. Man in tight, body hugging, wet tees. Okay, lets stop imagining. So lets see if what I show you fits your fantasy.

Firstly, definitely the barney girl outfit. Oops, ~~Barney~~ Bunny girl outfit, made popular by the playboy is a hawt hawt sexy icon around the world. Chicks in Las Vegas has them on, chicks in pubs has them on, and I know you want your partner to have them on as well. Only suitable for pear-shaped, hourglass body. Black stockings, bunny ears and the fluffy-balled tail. Gosh *squeeze squeeze*!
Next in line, the ever so popular nurse uniform. Its a moment in your life where you would just wish and pray to be sick forever, and get a forever 'treatment' from the lovely nurses. Nurses uniform are so popular that it hit the entertainment industry. Yes, it was featured in many physically entertaining movies. Usually they have a ~~bondage~~ bandage kit that makes it extremely sexilicious.
Mysterious, stern looking gun handling woman. Cannot tahan!! Mini skirt, cuffs and cap makes it a total package. When we talk about police, our minds are polluted by doughnut eating, coffee drinking police. But policewoman outfit kit, comes with the ever useful baton that serves many different purposes.
And then, we have the maid/slave uniform. Best used when you're serving rather than served. Because when you want to be served, the policewoman outfit makes wonders.
When you want to go really 'high', this is one uniform that will never disappoint you. So how? 'High' enough? Lastly, this is my favorite. This is one uniform that you can hardly get outside. I'm not sure if it looks good on anyone else but she's the hottest thing alive on earth. Lucky the uniform is made our of heat proof latex that is durable enough to tahan her hotness. Alba is really a fantastic four. Fantastic 2 in front and another Fantastic 2 behind, which makes it a Fantastic 4!
Wuah, so long post d.. Really cannot go on d. So girls, go back and make your man a happy man by getting one of those. Email me for contacts to get these uniforms. Good day stewlens. And don't miss Fantastic 4 alongside with 3 other crap.

Yummmmmmmmmmm SENG!!

2007-06-22T12:02:00.000+08:00

What is this? another fashion tip post? NO!, its not about hairstail or fashion. Remember those days back in your college life when you have had too many pints of alcoholic beverage, party too hard and got yourself knocked out unconscious? Reminisce...for those underage, don't say I never warn you arh!

Why people love to hate drunkard? easy... for some, drunkard may be a nuisance, abusive and out of their mind but there is also some people which find happiness and joy in decorating these drunkards. Here are some examples of their artistic work.

Nice or not? now you see drunkards are like dead people. They don't move until they wake up from the coma situation. How do you feel if you are the artist? or the masterpiece? You have your decision. :) Besides this, in college life you will never love your birthday like you used to, and sometimes you'll even wish you weren't born or your birthday falls on college breaks. Your most celebrated day will be your worst nightmare. Imagine being wrapped up like a mummy, extra hot chilli paste on your little brother, forced to eat dogfood, stripped naked and got a big powerbomb to the pool. This is just the beginning...

Alot of people usually will get very angry being decorated like this, but you can brag to people mar u have this experience. Don't TULAN larr...enjoy your college life!

Today is a Busyday

2007-06-21T10:12:00.000+08:00

Good morning students!, today teachar very not free, because have alot of things to do. I see last time in school also when a teachar is not free, he or she will give some work and write something on the board for you to copy. Some even bring you to the library and watch Nasional Geografic. So nice if they play AV instead. Dream on!, come now I've prepared 2 Engrish clips for you to watch. Make sure you watch and I'll ask you questions when I see you tomorrow.

Homework 1

Homework 2

Yay! finally I can leave my work here to go play.....errr NOTHING! I mean see outside got aeroplayne. Buhbye!~

Military Chicks

2007-06-20T11:40:00.001+08:00

How many of y0u have at least, thought once in your life to be a soldier? I have. I thought it was cool, manly, majio and you know, ~~chickens~~ chicks usually fall for those attributes. I know it sounds like a fantasee but again, it differs from people to people larh. Some wants to plotek the Mehsia. But as you grow up with bribry, coffee money, and a pretty much sucky gahmen. You thought to yourself, "Aiyah, proteck myself better larh".

I'm here to tell you that you are wrong! No, you're not wrong about proteckting yourself. Its just I found a new meaning to ~~becuming~~ becoming a soldier. I won't tell you why. I show you why.

How about that? Not bad rite? Now show you some office military chicks. When you see her, I guarantee you will sign up as to be a soldier. You otomatick ~~cum~~ come! What? I cannot hear you? You want some more? Don't have dee la. I hafto purposely get 'close' to the military guys to get hold onto these pictures wan kay. Not easy! So you better say thank you loud loud.

Today, military chicks are not only in the battlefield. It has evolved into the fashion world and to the gaming world as well. Now you know why I get hold of my original CD of Tomb Raider without thinking twice. How can you resist her. Killed by her also worth it. Die in peace.
Lesson for the day. All man loves woman that knows how to handle ALL kinds of gun. Dressing in military shirt is an additional plus. ;)

Pimp My Bride Part 2

2007-06-20T10:17:00.000+08:00

Okay, today I'll continue with the sequel to Pimp My Bride. Now that your bride is pimped up, This shop also provide the mean ride. Your bride looks so good, you'll definitely need a nice wedding car.

This car above is the latest modded car, like you see on TV one, the fast and furious car. It has a new 20" sport-rims, IKEA pine wood spoiler, and SinChewJitPoh GT rear bumper (Imported) and Hyper Ultra C-Board side skirt.

This one very mean, your wedding sure happening. Look at the wheels! the duo-colour ACE sport-rims from Indonesia. The Zimen Killer exhaust muffler which many animals will make it their home (free chargrilled food). Then there is the double tripods spoiler, which can also serves as antenna to get radio coverage from Mars. When you see those sport cars with ventilated hoods, turbo-charged engines and NOS. This car has it all and more. Front hood is fixed with a bazooka compressor which can suck in air thus increase horsepower. To make it looks more like a wedding car, they have this lovely white monkey airbrush design on it.

Woooo...Transformers theme song .This ride is hot! always so hard to book one. If you want it for your wedding, better make reservation now. It can transform into a cute robot which can read 1001 wedding vows. You guys must be drooling.. wanna know where it is? OK lar.. the address is :

P.O 12A, Jalan Post Oficce Street,
Wilayah Petaling SanJaya Malakar,
44884 Slangorh, Mesia.

DONT BELIEVE AR!!, I SHOW YOU THE PICTURE!

Miko, please come home

2007-06-19T10:53:00.000+08:00

This is perhaps the most non funny and non humorous post you'll see from your Engrish teacher but everyone has their ups and downs? And coincidentally its a downhill day today. Perhaps by now, you will start to wonder and make guessing who or what exactly is Miko? Miko is a bichon maltese mix. He's such a cutie. Thats when he was months old.

Everyone in the family loves him. Such an adorable deary that fits just right in your palm. Whose bark would not scare a chick away. Thats just Miko. You remember the nights when he would snuggle with you in bed, creating warmth by rubbing his body against yours under the comforter and a coll, chilling night. You remember the days when you would just wake up on a rainy day with an umbrella to his cage, just to check if he's doing alright. The days when he would jump and bark like a crazy dog, wagging his tail as though it was on some automated wagging machine when you were back from school.

The days when you couldn't sleep yourself when he's sick. The days when he tremble and shake like a vibrator when the vet examines him. When you held him in your arms and telling him that its all going to be okay. The days when you had more important things to do than taking a peek at him. The days when he grow so much older, he wasn't that cute anymore. The days when he couldn't sleep with you anymore because he was too dirty it seems. The days when your parents started to scold if he not behaving as he should. But he is not just any Miko. He is a part of you. He is yours.

Miko, where are you? She's worried about you. She thought you were killed by other dogs. She thought you were carried away by an eagle or an owl. She thought you fell into the river. She thought you were strangled and eaten by an iguana. Miko, her tears fell just thinking about you. You know she loves you. Miko, please come home.

To dog owners and dog lovers out there. Love them. :)

Would you be at the kennel waiting, Miko? Good day.

Pimp My Bride Part 1

2007-06-19T10:49:00.001+08:00

One day, I received this flyer on this bridal shop. The shop is called "Pimp My Bride". Wow, i was so curious, so I decided to check it out so I go to the shop la. When I was there, the salesman showed me alot of design samples. Hmm.. I thought " I'll be spoilt for choice" if I were to choose a wedding dress for my bride. There are so many attractive designs.

I was looking through the sample designs and I selected their best ones to show you guys. You can custom-made according to your preference, but I don't think it's necessary since there is so many categories.

Football Lover

Conservative yet trendy

The Swimsuit Edition

Hah...if all these still not enough, you want to add more accessories also can. You can attach an LCD flat screen at the back of your bride. Nice or not? During the wedding ceremony, you can play PS2 on it. What an invention!

I'll continue this on the Part 2, there'll be more on the wedding ride and the location.

Lets go LEGO

2007-06-18T12:27:00.000+08:00

Do you remember the days when you were young and your dad comes home with a Toys"R"US plastic bag, we would be jumping in joy, and waiting to take down our dad like a hungry lion and just grab the plastic bag, quickly to see whats inside? Yes, those were the days.

Finding out that inside the plastic bags were only his office documents make you cry. But finding a box of stupid dismantled Legos make u smile. I guess most of the children was, were and are going to be born with Lego. If not the original Lego, some celup brand will do la. Ligo or whatever, doesn't matter la. Same concept.

Same goes with me. I was once flooded with Lego. Being able to make a cube out of a Lego puts a smile on my face. To me, it was a big achievement. Not that I can't do anything better in life, but in life it starts with small achievement rite? Even if it were 'that' small.

But today, Lego is taken to another level. Not only children plays it. Big people also playing Lego. And let me show you some the amazing creation of Lego.

Church Lego

Sports Arena Lego

Legos are amazing hoh. Really miss those days when I have my Lego. But still for parents out there and kids as well. Todays lesson, play Lego with adult supervision. Because Lego can be fatal and dangerous as well.

Have a nice start for the week. Enjoy!

Caturday, yet?

2007-06-18T10:57:00.001+08:00

Manday, Tiusday, Venusday, Thirsday, Friday, Saterday, Sunday, CATURDAY!? One week got 7 days only right? So what is Caturday!? Hah..dunno right? lemme explain. Caturday also known as cats' day. On Caturday, cats don't have to be cats. Meaning is, cats are still cats but they are not cats on Caturday unlike any other days when cats are cats. Cats love Caturday because they can do what humans do.

On Caturday, cats party all day and night. They also commit to crimes like robberies, rapes, murders and they take drugs. We have a snapshots of cats on Caturday.

Cats are getting really high and crime rates are increasing on Caturday. So the US of A sends their finest Afbeeyai agent to monitor the cats. Agent Poomy was sent to spy on the cat's kingpin, Mr. Xerxes, the Persian.

It wasn't too long before Agent Poomy was discovered and punished the Caturday's way. Although Caturday is not in the calendar anymore, but some say it still exist. Believe it or not? it's up to you.

Love is in the air

2007-06-16T12:54:00.000+08:00

Good afternoon stewlens! Todays lesson is meaningful, touching and noble. We're going to learn the real meaning of love. I had a dream last night, I think God wants me to spread this message to the people out there that 'love is in the air'. I'm going to teech you a few good words on this wonderful 'after the afternoon'.

Firstly,
pece (noun); Its a state of mutual harmonee, opposite of piss.
Example; I am piss but after a good sleep, now pece adee.

Now after you know the pece, I'm gonna teach u the word 'gay'. Gay is spesial, it has 2 beautyfuru meaning.
Gay (noun);1. two guy lap lap one another, physically, emotionally and mentally
; 2. very lively, happy and jolly
Example; Those two(1.) gays that make lap on the beach looks gay(2.) horh.

So after learning this two beautyfuru words, I'm here to tell you flom today onwards. No more war. Even if they have war, its is gonna be a laply war. You ask me why? Because av bodi is going to feel more gay(1,2.)ful after this.

Now with the invention on gay(1.) bomb, pece is getting near. No more fite, no more war, people with love one another. All will become gay(1,2.). Sooooo good rite?

Oh yah hoh. What about the woman ah? They become gay(1.) also ahh? Dunno. I think woman will become gay(2.) only. Have a great weekend and may it be a gay(?)ful one. Pece!

Fashion Tip - The Camel Toe

2007-06-15T11:28:00.000+08:00

Boys and girls! are you into NEW fashion? then do you know what is the latest and most happening one? I bet some know and some still don't know. Lemme tell you what is it the new fashion. Have you heard people saying " Wah, camel toe! chun la!"?? Some will say "oh, the camel's toe is it, i saw it in the Zoo Negra"

I met one guy, he took off his shoes and show everybody his camel toe. So, i snapped his toe picture to show you all, BUT this is not the camel toe fashion OK!

Camel toe fashion like this one, see pictures below, even celebrities wear it. Nice or not? next time cannot complain say nobody looking at you even when you wear designer clothes. This camel toe cup fits in all tight outfit one. The tighter the better.

Maria won the Wimbledon also because of this camel toe cup, she got many unforced error also become unforced winner by the umpire. For those working people, you will get promotion very soon also. So who wants to order or not? I try to get bulk purchases.

Here I present you the camel toe! , click on the picture for bigger picture of the advert ya. Got many many sizes one, don't care you fat, thin, tall, short, gay or lesbian. Can also custom-made one.

This is the sample of the custom-made size.

And for guys, here it is! stylish or not?

So, what are you waiting for? Order one now!

Eat, ate and eating with Love

2007-06-15T11:14:00.000+08:00

Wanna have some cock? Eh eh, you all don't liddat can or not? Not my kok lah. What?!! Not yours also la. I am talking real! There is this restaurant in Korlia, in Kwangju. So I thought ok lor, name strange only mah. Then after that I start to think again. What are they serving? They serve kok-flavored food? Or food looking like kok? Or food served for kok? I only heard some girl giggling after coming out from the resta and say the Korlian sausage taste damn good. So the next time whoever is there, prease tell me ahh!

Maybe this?

Korlians are great! But thats before you see what our neighbor friend has to offer. I show u teaser first.

Its a plastic, its a transparent fake bleast, no!, its a condorm. Haha. This one is a restaurant at Tiger city (Tigerland). Now after looking at the picture, i quite pity the guy, he look like he's gonna suffocate d. I go interbiew him. Ask him how he feel working there.

Engrish Teacher: Hi condorm man. How is working here? Tell us abit about how you feel.

Condorm man: You want to know how ah. You come let a condorm wrap your head for hours then you tell me how you feel larh. Niamah! You know la. Sometimes we have to use second hand condorm summore. Then inside still got little bit leftover marh. Wah lau eh. You know the smell or not hah?! You.. you.. you..

He suddenly talk no more and pengsaned on the floor. Then oni I realise. He too kanjiong express his feelings, he forgot to breathe. Cos his nose blocked. Oni can use mouth. So sad. Rest is ~~piss~~, peace.

Korlian, Tigerland, all also strange people. Their infruence spread until Greece! Asia BOLEH!

Hippo fight

2007-06-14T14:55:00.000+08:00

This unker told me that when he was in Saut Afrika see crocodile with Mr. Bradee Bar, they were attacked by this giant hippo. He said the hippo is as big as your momma. The hippo came so fast, they were unable to run animore. So Brad said " die mar die la". "I INSIST! I gonna fight back!" the unker shouted out loud. Woosh! the hippo open mouth so big wanna bite them.

Then unker act HERO, he said "lucky I watch Nasional Jografic, watch me Brad". So this unker mar open his mouth also and "mouthfight" with the hippo. Just like what you see on TV.

They actually escaped the danger, because unker managed to fight off the hippo. Wow! unker so stlong. Hippo also scared of him and I think crocodile also run. At first, I don't believe what he said one so I just pretend I'm so interested la. Mana tau he got angry because I don't believe him. So this is what he did before I blacked out.

To I Let is a happy place

2007-06-14T11:49:00.000+08:00

Another Engrish time! As promised its going to be full of crap! Oh yeah! This time is not frozen and refrigerated but its flesh flesh one! Don't worree. Its not that expandseef anyway! Oh kay, since we're so into crap today. Let us walk walk see see happy happy something similar which is the 'to i let' that will make u go arhhhhhh~.

This 'to i let' is super good. Because it gifts you motivation. If you pee for 20 seconds, then you got 20 seconds motivation. If you pee for 5 seconds those, then sorry la hah. But still 5 seconds of motivation is better than none, rite? But i think horh, everybody will fight to pee at one spot. So please take turn yah. I know avbodi wants to go arhhhhhhhh also but patience is virtue ma.

When are we going to get 'to i lets' like this. It makes poo poo and pee pee so much happier horh. If everyday one fella come up to me and tell me ' Wuah!! Your one so big! Unbelievable!', wouldn't the world be a brighter place. So now you know what to do la. Go up to your friend and the next time you all pee pee together and say 'Wuah!! Your one soooo big!'. Make his day. Any injury to your poo poo hole after that is not my responsibility. You say wan mah. You take the consequences la! We guys are gentle man.

Another Engrish lesson completed. Hope you all learn good good words toolay. 'To i let' creates gentle man and make people happy happy. Don't ask me how the woman toilet is like. Would it be like 'So big! Unbelievable?!' I don't know. Don't ask me.

Later. Bai Bai. <--- Don't get me wrong. I wasn't referring to that. We are gentle man. Good day!

Happy Graduation!

2007-06-14T10:51:00.000+08:00

Graduation day~ is the action of receiving or conferring an academic degree or the associated ceremony. The date of event is often called degree day. The event itself is also called commencement, convocation or invocation. In the United States and Canada, it is also used to refer to the advancement from a primary or secondary school level. Many colleges have different traditions associated with the graduation ceremony, the best-known probably being throwing mortarboards in the air.

This day is very the happy one for all graduants. Study so hard (ahem) finally get to graduate, happy right? People likes to take alot of photos in graduation day. 90% wear their gowns at home, posing in front of the mirror. Wah, anticipating the "big" day. Some people say its good to graduate so can move on to the working life, some hate it because they feel their happy days is over. In college, parents pay for everything. No worries. Now, so many things come knocking..loans, petrol, ciggy, food, leisure and such. Not only that, you'll start thinking of your future..I mean really start. Anyway, it shows your maturity and you welcome the new phase of your life. Enjoy life :) Here's a few pictures on happy happy graduation!

Happy huh!? hehe, Congrats to all that have graduated and wish you all the best on your future undertakings. To my engrish students, study hard ya.. you guys will definitely make me proud one day. I assume la.. graduation must be happy but...

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People say working life is like a battlefield, these guys take it too seriously.

Give a dog or a cat a home today!

2007-06-14T10:02:00.000+08:00

Dear all,

Do you like pets? or have a heart to keep them? You don't need to save up your pocket money to get a pedigree or a fancy breed. Why not adopt em'? Aren't they cute?

Pets and humans each often contribute toward the happiness of the other in a pet relationship. Having a pet or being a pet may promote a longer, happier life.

Their options are running out and they’re hoping that they don’t have to exercise sending them to the shelters only to be put down. So what are you waiting for?

Please visit the adoption location stated below. You'll see there's a need to save em'. Make them a companion, love and care for em'. Adopt one today!

ADOPTION LOCATION.

HARTAMAS SHOPPING CENTRE, Plaza Damas.
Every Saturday from 12 noon to 5 pm.
Find them next to Starbucks.

Here's a video clip for all dog lovers around the world. Go give a big kiss to your dog after this. To those prospective pet owners out there, think no more, go get one NOW!

This is Spartaaa!

2007-06-13T16:13:00.000+08:00

Do you know what movie is this? familiar anot?

What can we learn from "300" ?

This movie, affects many people's life. It can change a person forever. Hmm..I smell Oscar!! and Nobel Prize! Have a look at these video clips.

Vote "300" for the most influential movie ever! Now, unleash the Spartan spirit in you and do what you feel like doing.

Cuti-cuti Malacca

2007-06-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

This is my 256th visit to the historic city of Malacca. What is Malacca? Click here to find out laa..For Malaysians, they think they know alot about Malacca, or balaka in Hokkien but in fact they don't. What we know is that this place has alot of heritage, Mr Param from Palembang found it, kancil kicks 2 doggies and nice food like the peranakan's dishes such as Itek Tim ( aka Tim's Duck ), Ayam Pong Teh ( Pongteh's Chicken ) and the famous Nyonya Laksa. Do you know what is Malacca's best kept secret?? hah...later i tell you.

This picture is taken in Jonker's Street, it is famous for This street is famous for its antique goods. It is also famous for its carnival-like atmosphere during weekend nights. At night, you can see alot of elderly women dance at the centrepoint. Sometimes you can also see ah-gua dance along to the music beat. For definition of ah-gua, kindly click here.

Hah...here are the popular historical attractions.

Fort A Famosa : Constructed by the Portuguese in 1511, it suffered severe structural damage during the Dutch invasion. The plan by the British to destroy it was aborted as a result of the intervention of Sir Stamford Raffles in 1808

St. John's Fort : Reconstructed by the Dutch in the third quarter of the 18th century, the cannons in this port point inwards towards the mainland because at that time, the threat to Malacca was mainly from inland rather than the sea.

St. Peter's Church : Constructed in 1710 under the Dutch administration, the church is the oldest Catholic church in Malaysia. Its facade and decorative embellishment is a mix of both eastern and western architecture. Its bell was delivered from Goa in 1608.

St. Paul's Church : Constructed by the Portuguese captain, Duarte Coelho, this church was named "Our Lady of The Hill", but was later turned into a burial ground by the Dutch for their noble dead, and renamed "St. Paul's Church". Currently the church is part of the Malaccan Museums Complex. The body of St. Francis Xavier was interred here temporarily before it was taken to Goa, India.

Christ Church : Constructed in 1753, the structure reflects original Dutch architecture. The building houses hand-crafted church benches, jointless ceiling skylights, a copper replica of the Bible, a headstone written in the Armenian language, and a replica of "The Last Supper".

Francis Xavier Church: This Gothic church was built by the French Priest, Father Paderi Fabre, in 1849, to commemorate St. Francis Xavier who is also known as the "Apostle of the East". St. Francis Xavier is credited for his Catholic missionary ( not a position ya!! ) work in during the 16th century.

Stadhuys Building : Constructed in 1650 as the residence of the Dutch Governor and his deputy, the structure reflects Dutch architecture. It is today the "Museum of History and Ethnography". The museum exhibits traditional wedding clothes and artifacts of Melaka ( in Bahasa ), dating back to its days of glory.

Jonker Street (Jalan Hang Jebat) : This street is famous for its antique goods. It is also famous for its carnival-like atmosphere during weekend nights. ( as told earlier, can see ah-gua here at night. )

Portuguese Square : Perhaps the right phrase to infer strong affinity to Portugal would be 'Mini Lisbon'. Located within the Portuguese Settlement, the square is the culmination of Portuguese culture in its full splendour and colours. See, we have Mini Lisbon here. Lisbon is a city in Portugal. Heard of Sporting Lisbon?? That's where the likes of C.Ronaldo and Nani came from.. now I know why Portuguese' special dish is the Devil's Curry.

Don't forget our famous Beca, nicely decorated trishaw which is only for foreign tourists. Very the expensive, about RM40 for a short trip on that. I'd rather walk. Somehow, its still much much much better than the beca in Vietnam la.. see below!

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Malaysia still Boleh mar.. compare to this.. but how about this one below?

Haha... Tak Boleh!

This is the Malaccan Cat. Scientific name is Felis catus de kuching Mlaca. Found it outside an art gallery. RARE!

Okay, finally Malacca's best kept secret is its World-class medical services. Malacca now hold claims to the title for its medical services to be among developed nations. It is a first as no other states in Malaysia have made claims in the medical field. Not to mention that it is quite an achievement as the state of Melaka have been keeping its medical advancement a secret from most Malaysian yet manages to promote its services very successfully to Foreigners. Chief Minister Datuk Seri Mohamed Ali Rustam said in an interview with Bernama, “Melaka is now the number one in health tourism.” In 2004 alone, a total of 150,000 foreigners (mostly Indonesians) spent RM120 million on medical services at private hospitals in Malaysia. I think its Hospital Putra, beside Sungai Melaka. Now, Malaysians don't need to go abroad, Malacca has it all! If still can't cure your medical problems, you can also seek for a "special tabib" there.

For more information on Tourism in Malacca, click here.

Okay, its time to travel to other places now..

Well cum to Engrish!

2007-06-12T13:20:00.000+08:00

Rite. First things first. Well cum to our very own Engrish class. Asking us about the very reason the blog is created. Well, there is no reason at all. Ok larh, since everybody needs a reason to blog. I guess our main reason is for the world. World ~~piss~~ peace. So now our main is to stop AIDS by spraying our love eternally. I would not go into details what kind of spraying technique you would want to use. But as long as accurate then its all good!

And i hope you do realize that I actually used the word our blog. Because, I'm not talking as in the blog belongs to you! But its a courtesy of me and my friend to come up with good read for the day. Not here to spoil and pollute your young and naive mind. We're here to provide you with good protein of the day. Hence, a crap a day, brightens up your day. Prease harh! Crap is high in protein and good for health, oh right!

Sit back, relaxing, take it easy easy. Engrish lesson going to start soon. Most of the construksion work is going on. So if got some bricks fall on you, its not me fault. I tell you already. Savety warning given. You choke, die, cough, puke at your own risk. Have a great day.

Till then. Bai bai.