We live in this world, we see the Earth is dying, no more blue blue sky, stars are gone, everyone is a smoker, and gasmask becomes a fashion accessories. Well.. inspired by AhBoon, I'm set to go on search for the most heavenly sight and serenity that can still be seen from this world. For me, in Malaysia the only place I found peace is in the sawah padi. You know that feeling when you can just stand motionless and enjoy the luxury of being out of the city?
Have you ever seen the auroras? What are they? Roman Goddess of Dawn?! 
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Be careful what you wish for...
3 Homeworks Published by Chee Meng on Friday, August 10, 2007 at 5:09 PMOnce upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a man. An obese man. A freakingly huge, obese man. Okay, that's an understatement... A few more repetitions, and our friend is starting to look more interesting(?). Finally he realised something is not right, and as soon as the fairy godmother mumbled the incantation one more time, he shouted "Enough, god-mama, enough!" The fairy godmother just shook her head and say "Kids nowadays... you can never please 'em. Don't do what they ask you to, and they say you don't love them. Follow all the whims, and they still scold you, for a job well-done. Hmmpphhh!" "But... but... How can you expect me to go out like this? What am I gonna say? Built-in napkin? Apron-o-matic? Instant boxers? OMG! Remove the flab NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW" The fairy godmother sighed, and waved her wand again, summoning a bunch of butchers. Of course, she did the stitching work herself: And voila! Instant Arnold Schwarzenegger! So, folks, next time, remember to be more specific in what you ask for. And, if you want to have a fairy godmother too, e-mail your resume to Engrish Teacher and we'll send you an application form. Oh, and by the way, he ended up asking for a pretty girl *after* that, and well, as tales go, lived happily ever after.
Now, story has it that he has a fairy godmother. As with all fairy godmothers, she was willing to grant him his deepest desires.
So, when he said "Fairy God-mama, I don't like being so, like, uhhh, y'know... un-thin. I can't get girls to be interested in me! Could you remove some fat?", she could only have replied "Your wish is my command." (By the way, why can't he just wish for something like "I would like to have Ayumi Hamasaki lying beside me now"?)
Now, the fairy godmother waved her magic wand, chanted some magic words, and ended with "Fat, begone!" ... by the time she has repeated the incantation for 5 times, our friend looked like this:
"Look at me!" he said, "What have I become?"
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A friend in need is a friend indeed
3 Homeworks Published by Cikgu Engrish on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at 10:02 PM
Today I'm going to talk about friendship. It is not your friend's ship nor French vessel. Do you have friends? buddy? kawan-kawan? brader? etc etc.. When you are small, you already have some friends around you and when you are big, you have more guy friends. Err...what am I talking about? Forget it..As we grow up, we make friends along the way. Some are true, some are fucked up and some are the "hi-bye" ones.
When we are young (kiddos), friends are those that share your toys, watch Playhouse Disney Channel with you and steal your color pencils. When we are primary school students, we play catching, batu seremban and bottle caps with friends. When we are secondary school students, we learn sex more about the opposite sex by sharing valuables and we think that having a gang of friends walking together is a sex symbol. After that, some friends will depart and we will make new friends in college. Friends can be everywhere, but true friends are just like gems and some other friends can be like stones by the roadside (they can just fly from nowhere and hit your car windscreen)
In life, we need true friends. They are the ones that'll support you when you are down. Sometimes, they are too busy for you because they have priority for their gf/bf/fubu/etc. Do not get pissed off. Just show them two fingers representing *two words and they will understand. *peng you/kah wan/free end/bar dee/heng tai/bra the.
This what I call the True Blue Brader mahhh...
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You should be! there must be a time when you just have to let yourself free and have fun! For me, college life is the best there is. You don't have to wait until the end of the week just to have some fun. You don't have to work all day long and worry about making mistakes. I wonder how true it is, but I do seem to appreciate and anticipate weekends more after i started my working life. Friday night seems so heavenly and things go in a direction you want it to be.
I've had a great weekend, and I hope you guys have had a great one too! For those working class, please keep all your work aside and enjoy yourself to the fullest. Don't come and tell me, alot of datelines, stress and how big your responsibility is or how many casinos you've to manage.
Working hard to climb up the corporate ladder is not wrong, but there's also a need for time management. Here's a story that I would like to share with you all...
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two mugs of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions-- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple cups of coffee."
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International language. No its not any French, English or even the almighty Engrish. Not even my beloved Japanese. Huu huu. An international language is of course a language that is internationally known or recognized. It need not be a spoken language. It can be on the form of signs.
Sign language? Hmm, sort of but not that complicated. This involves only one finger. And that my friends, is the middle finger.
It doesn't matter how old you start to flash 'the' fingers around. Its not that bad compared to flashing your 'love rod' around. So parents, its not exactly a bad thing. There are of course debates on the meaning of the middle finger. What does it means? Or what does it expresses?
Most people feel that its offensive or it simply means 'Fuck you!'. But what I feel is that it can be expressed and received in many different forms of message. Some find it offensive, some find it cute and some find it funny. There's no age limit to flashing your middle finger. When you feel like it, flash it.
When its all gloomy and dark, and you know that you want your time alone. Some joker bang into your room and do something stupid that is supposed to be funny. This finger means, 'Hey, could you please jack off and leave me alone'.
When you're at a older age, of course the middle finger is nothing rude. This is a form of advice from the elderly to the kids out there. Mine without stimulation is already this long. So shut up and listen. So its alright, don't be offended. Take your time to learn this beautiful sign.
Now, this one is a classic in New York. He needs the money for beer, drugs and hooker. Aww, how could we resist such honesty. Of course you have to pay him. If you don't wanna pay but wanna look at his board. Thats when the middle finger plays a part. It simply means, what the fuck are you looking at?! Look and pay, sucka.
The last one. Awwwwww... Can you feel it? Love. Oh my god. So loving. After years of courting, going through thick and thin, fighting the storms and the PMSes, at last we're getting married! So happy. In certain countries, the middle finger sign is like a marriage vow. It means I'll have this finger in your ass and you'll have yours in my p***y. Sweet right. There you go, the international sign. Peace. _|_
P/s: Oh for the marriage vow thingy, be careful with the finger in the ass.
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The valley between 2 mountains
2 Homeworks Published by Engrishman on Thursday, July 26, 2007 at 10:18 PM
For those girls that do not know what a cleavage is, let me help you. Put your hands straight by your side all the way down to your waist. Now slowly move the top of your elbow to the center of the body. You'll feel a press against your chest. There you go, you got your cleavage. Girls under 18, leave this blog now! Don't even bother trying. It won't work. Girls with flat chest, don't be sad. Wonderbra does wonders. Pay a visit soon yah.
For guys that do not know what a cleavage is, locate the nearest wall. Okay? Start banging your head against it.
Todays topic is extremely serious. Its about the art and power of cleavage. Its also part of Sun Tzu art of war. Its able to blind your enemy with distraction. With the art of cleavaging, guys attention are usually distracted. They eyes tend to circle around and around, trying hard to look at your face and take a quick peek at your cleavage. (I've done that) Now, this could be further enhanced with tattoos. With tattoos, the attention gets diverted even more. Words that was uttered from the opposite sex makes no sense. He would paused for 2 seconds. Watch out for the drools as well. Cleavage opens door for opportunities. You go through any kind of securities easier. You realized that promotion and pay rise comes faster than expected. The world seemed like a better place.
Nowadays, its just everywhere. Its a total common sight in Myspace,
in Friendster,
beaches,
clubs,
and just many more.
Heck they even have 'National Cleavage Day' in South Africa. Sigh, my opinion. Cleavage is not a bad thing at all. Its a two ways thing. You girls enjoy giving, we guys enjoy receiving. Would talk about the evolution of the art of cleavage in future posts. Good night students.
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Lets jump together gether
0 Homeworks Published by Engrishman on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 at 2:08 PM
Parents would just call us kids, monkey, jumping around doing nothing beneficial jumping around. Well, people call me monkey up till this very day, although I don't know why. There's so many things I've done in my younger days. I jump alot back then but, what about now? I don't anymore. You? Are we forgetting the art of jumping as we grow older? Or we simply just don't jump anymore because its not what adults do. Is the joy of jumping, being all happy and free not important to us anymore?
Now, how many of you actually did that before? Jumping of a swinging swing. Those who have yet to try it before, let me tell you how it feels. You're feel all released, free, tenseless, stressless, happy all at the same time for 2 seconds and you'll fall on the hard floor or maybe break your ass. So is it worth the jump? Of course, NOT. Don't need jump so high la. Lower jump, same satisfaction. Jump at your own risk.
Anyway, I found out that not everyone forgot how to jump, there are still people that enjoys jumping. Enjoy reminding themselves that jumping actually feels good. Do you still wanna jump? Lets do it!
Okay, I have some feedbacks that girls are not too keen on jumping like that. Not all girls, but those with juicy lemon melons. Don't worry about it. We promise we won't look. We have our heavy balls to look after as well. So just jump. Oh yeah, by the way, those with flat chest, no worries. This does not concern you. So worry no more and jump happily. :D
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